The Rosmah Saga: Soap Opera, Crime Drama or Thriller Gone Horribly Wrong?

In America, the mass media is saturated with juicy and often lurid details of their celebrities behaving badly. The public is constantly fed with daily news of drug overdose, public drunkenness and all-round debauchery that characterize the wild and crazy lives of the Hollywood glitterati. In our sensible, conservative country, the artistes and celebrities that entertain us are generally decent and well behaved. Some, like Siti Nurhaliza, inevitably serve as role models with their modest behavior and strong work ethic. And so it was left to the politicians to fill the vacuum and take up the role as gossip fodder and scandal-makers to feed the gratuitous imagination of our country-folk. This they have accomplished with utmost diligence and supreme efficiency, sometimes even surpassing their official job as managers of this nation.

It was only a few years ago that Malaysians were shown a specimen of a semen-stained mattress purportedly belonging to a high-profile politician. For many of us who were growing up, that period served as a lesson on sexual education as we discovered for the very first time, that it was humanly possible to take it up the arse. We wondered again if the government was taking a more pro-active role in the sexual education of citizens when the recently-demoted Health Minister Chua Soi Lek himself took on a leading role in a sex video. Amidst the loud protests by professional porn stars who found themselves out of work, Malaysians can only sigh in despair upon realizing that our politicians not only get better pay, they also get more sex than the rest of us.

One prominent politician who has never really escaped the national gossip is the energetic Najib Razak. He has been linked to several women in the past, most notably the actress Ziana Zain and more recently, the murdered Mongolian Altantuya Shariibuu. We sincerely sympathize with the predicament that befalls Najib Razak for he has the misfortune of being tagged a philanderer without having the charm and charisma of a playboy.

The recent debacle over Najib Razak and his wife Rosmah Mansor’s alleged involvement in the murder of Altantuya is an embarrassment not only to them, but the integrity of the Malaysian government and its people. What is even more embarrassing is that Raja Petra Kamarudin’s statutory declaration, at least for many Malaysians, is actually not at all shocking. Rumor of the power couple’s involvement has been making the rounds ever since Abdul Razak Baginda was charged with abetment of the murder. The strong denials voiced by Rosmah and Najib, unfortunately, are not enough to allay suspicion by a wary and untrusting public, and hence we call for a full and thorough investigation on this explosive matter.

Opposition Supporters Rally Behind Pak Lah

Amid growing calls for Abdullah Badawi to resign as Prime Minister following the shock losses suffered by Barisan Nasional in the just-concluded general elections, a grouping of opposition supporters today rallied at an undisclosed location in support of Pak Lah. The supporters were seen carrying banners with the slogan “Stay another 5 years” and “Keep doing what you’re doing, it’s clearly working” as the factors resulting in Saturday’s big win for the Opposition became clear. “Our victory in the recent General Election is 99.99% due to Abdullah”, said one jubilant PKR supporter, borrowing from the infamous and mathematically inaccurate analysis of Umno secretary-general Khalil Yaakob during the landslide 2004 elections.

There have been persistent rumours that Abdullah Badawi might be suffering from deafness when he was quoted as saying “I don’t know who is pressuring me to quit”, despite a call to resign from the very noisy ex-Premier Mahathir Mohamad. “People are saying the PM is out of touch, but I think it’s a simple case of deafness,” claimed Dr Noor Hayati Abu Samah, a senior ENT (ear-nose-throat) specialist at the Subang Jaya Medical Centre. Some opposition supporters, however, are indifferent to the PM’s future. “Even if he resigns, he will most likely be succeeded by Najib Razak, and we know many Malaysians are uncomfortable with him and his equally unlikable partner,” said concerned citizen turned armchair political analyst Chee Soon Chuan. “I may not be a professional political analyst like Abdul Razak Baginda, but even I can tell that UMNO is in a bit of a mess”.

-Ihsan TakdaNama, berita tidak rasmi Malaysia.