Jalan di Terengganu Diperbesar Untuk Mercedes Benz

Jalan-jalan kampung di Terengganu bakal diperbesar bagi memuatkan kereta-kereta Mercedes yang baru dibeli pentadbiran eksekutif negeri itu. Jalan dan lorong-lorong kampung di Terengganu, yang rata-ratanya sempit dan penuh lubang, tidak lagi sesuai untuk digunakan setelah Menteri Besar Ahmad Said menggantikan kereta Proton Perdana kepada Mercedes Benz E200 Kompressor. Peruntukan juga bakal dibuat bagi kerja-kerja memperbesar pagar dan halaman rumah yang selama ini hanya dapat memuatkan Perodua Kancil ataupun seekor lembu korban, supaya Menteri Besar dapatlah akhirnya melawat penduduk kampung. Ini bertepatan dengan hasrat kerajaan negeri untuk menampilkan imej prihatin kepada golongan paling miskin di negeri kaya minyak itu.

Seorang penduduk di Banggol Peradong, Nordin Atan, menyatakan rasa gembira ke atas khabar angin pembesaran jalan itu. “Kita di kampung sudah 10 tahun lamanya menunggu pembaikan jalan. Dengan pembelian kereta Mercedes berjumlah RM3.43 juta ini, kita berharaplah kerajaan negeri akan membelanjakan sedikit duit membaiki jalan di Banggol Peradong ni”. Setiausaha Persatuan Penjual Keropok Lekor Terengganu, Halimah Saad, menaruh harapan pembesaran jalan itu secara tidak langsung akan dapat melariskan jualan keropok lekor di tepi jalan. “Saya bersyukur Ahmad Said* telah dilantik sebagai Menteri Besar, kalau tidak ini semua mungkin tidak akan berlaku”, ujarnya sambil mencicah keropok lekornya dengan sos cili Maggi.

*Ahmad Said telah dilantik sebagai Menteri Besar oleh Sultan Terengganu menggantikan Idris Jusoh yang dipilih Perdana Menteri Abdullah Badawi dalam Pilihanraya Umum 2008.

Ihsan TakdaNama, agensi berita tidak rasmi Malaysia

The Rosmah Saga: Soap Opera, Crime Drama or Thriller Gone Horribly Wrong?

In America, the mass media is saturated with juicy and often lurid details of their celebrities behaving badly. The public is constantly fed with daily news of drug overdose, public drunkenness and all-round debauchery that characterize the wild and crazy lives of the Hollywood glitterati. In our sensible, conservative country, the artistes and celebrities that entertain us are generally decent and well behaved. Some, like Siti Nurhaliza, inevitably serve as role models with their modest behavior and strong work ethic. And so it was left to the politicians to fill the vacuum and take up the role as gossip fodder and scandal-makers to feed the gratuitous imagination of our country-folk. This they have accomplished with utmost diligence and supreme efficiency, sometimes even surpassing their official job as managers of this nation.

It was only a few years ago that Malaysians were shown a specimen of a semen-stained mattress purportedly belonging to a high-profile politician. For many of us who were growing up, that period served as a lesson on sexual education as we discovered for the very first time, that it was humanly possible to take it up the arse. We wondered again if the government was taking a more pro-active role in the sexual education of citizens when the recently-demoted Health Minister Chua Soi Lek himself took on a leading role in a sex video. Amidst the loud protests by professional porn stars who found themselves out of work, Malaysians can only sigh in despair upon realizing that our politicians not only get better pay, they also get more sex than the rest of us.

One prominent politician who has never really escaped the national gossip is the energetic Najib Razak. He has been linked to several women in the past, most notably the actress Ziana Zain and more recently, the murdered Mongolian Altantuya Shariibuu. We sincerely sympathize with the predicament that befalls Najib Razak for he has the misfortune of being tagged a philanderer without having the charm and charisma of a playboy.

The recent debacle over Najib Razak and his wife Rosmah Mansor’s alleged involvement in the murder of Altantuya is an embarrassment not only to them, but the integrity of the Malaysian government and its people. What is even more embarrassing is that Raja Petra Kamarudin’s statutory declaration, at least for many Malaysians, is actually not at all shocking. Rumor of the power couple’s involvement has been making the rounds ever since Abdul Razak Baginda was charged with abetment of the murder. The strong denials voiced by Rosmah and Najib, unfortunately, are not enough to allay suspicion by a wary and untrusting public, and hence we call for a full and thorough investigation on this explosive matter.

There’s Nothing Quite as Ex as an Ex-PM

Reading the Malaysian papers these days – itself an act that can at best be described as anti-intelligent – we sometimes wonder if a time machine’s been invented and we’re back in the 90s. As ex-Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad makes a comeback in the headlines, we can only sigh over the double-despair of being administered by the lackluster Abdullah Badawi while having to endure the tireless ranting of the ex-Premier. There is now a small and growing cult of supporters dedicated to the preservation of the memories of Mahathir’s Malaysia, then a country renewed by ambition and confidence, armed with the zeal to stick it to the colonial masters and climb the stage of global recognition. This was the era when attention-seeking was a patriotic duty, and so we built the world’s third-longest bridge, the tallest towers, the third-tallest telecommunications structure, the biggest ketupat, the most number of lemang consumed in one day…the list goes on.

But we also remember that much of this development was built on the back of unhindered corruption, rampant cronyism and a sycophantic political culture which treats dissent, even constructive criticism, as if it were a plague that needs to be rid of at all costs. That culture of subservience that Mahathir Mohamad so craftily cultivated may have meant a relatively easy time for him as Prime Minister, but it has left us with a generation of slavish, unthinking leaders unaccustomed to debate and criticism from the people whose vote brought them to office in the first place. These politicians, whose greatest contribution is saying “yes” on cue, are as useful to the democratic process as a rubber stamp. While we acknowledge the ex-Premier’s deeds to this country and admire his intellectual rigor, his present ranting do not actually benefit anybody, and only serves to further diminish his reputation as one of Asia’s great statesmen.

Are We Really A Nation Of Unthinkers?

Terengganu Menteri Besar Idris Jusoh has declared his willingness to accept any decision of the Umno leadership that is deemed best for the rakyat, including forgoing the Menteri Besar’s post. He was also prepared to apologise to the Sultan of Terengganu if he “had done anything wrong”. Not that we are especially fond of Idris Jusoh, but we are extremely disappointed that he has chosen to play the role of the stereotypical subservient Malay subject and not uphold his position, simply on the basis that it is “in the interests of the rakyat”. The Sultan’s displeasure is his own. It does not necessarily reflect the general feeling of the people of Terengganu. If the electorate was unsatisfied with the Umno government, they would have easily voted the administration out of office, a concept not at all unfamiliar in this state once ruled by Pas.

Why is Idris Jusoh apologizing for an offense he’s not even sure of? We seem to be living in a world where people are increasingly saying sorry not because they are actually sorry, but just in case they have offended some people. We should not be sorry “if”, we should be sorry “because”. In a foolishly opportunistic move that betrays its rebellious roots, PKR, led by party national youth deputy head Faris Musa, lodged a police report against PM Abdullah Badawi, DPM Najib Razak and the 23 Terengganu assemblymen for showing disrespect to the Terengganu Palace. “The palace institution must be respected and all subjects must show loyalty,” declared Faris. “The actions of those involved were blatant disregard of loyalty to the Rulers”.

Have we really become a nation of such slavish unthinkers that loyalty to the monarchy now precedes intelligent debate and common sense? Why is it that we are expected to prostrate with unquestioning subservience to mortals when even God Himself demands our scrutiny? We are blessed by a system where the monarchy no longer presides over executive rule, where we are “subjects” only by name and empowered to determine the direction of this country as we see fit, not according to the whims and fancies of the palace. We Malaysians, rightly or wrongly, ask for no accountability from the royal families in return for their role as merely ceremonial figureheads. It is in view of this, that such blatant display of unthinking subservience by both Idris Jusoh and PKR deserve even more condemnation.

Royal Rumble Packs a Punch in Terengganu

The still talked-about general election has created political fault lines not just between the Opposition-led West Coast and the BN-led East, but also between the separation of executive power between the government and the monarchy. Undoubtedly due to the unprecedented outcome of the elections, we have seen the Sultans of Selangor and Perak and the Raja of Perlis being dragged into politics and now the Sultan of Terengganu looks set to continue this worrying trend.

The appointment of a Menteri Besar should remain the prerogative of the government elected by the people. The Umno administration has been returned to power by the people of Terengganu and it should be allowed to elect its state leader, just as the Opposition coalition should be given the freedom to appoint its Menteris Besar, having been given the mandate to do so. The people of Terengganu have been impoverished for decades under both Pas and Umno, without any protest from the monarchy. Therefore we find the claim that the Sultan’s decision to appoint Ahmad Said was in the interest of the people a bit hard to stomach.

We at kampunghouse are not anti-monarchy, but we have been disappointed by the royal families and their lackluster reputation in championing the rights and privileges of the people. The monarchy prefers to assert its influence by dishing out hundreds of Datuk- and Tan Sri-ships like worthless bags of keropok, while the rest of us are subjected to the obnoxious demands of many an undeserving Datuk and his Datin. It would be better for the monarchy, and for the rest of us, if it continues in its role as national symbols, or as exemplified by the royal families of Negri Sembilan and Pahang, to simply grace the social pages of Malaysia Tatler and Le Prestige.

UMNO: The Only Party That Is Consistent

There are many nasty things you could say about UMNO, and many have done so, but if there is one thing everybody would agree on, it is that this party has been very consistent. The United Malays National Organization is perhaps second only to George W. Bush in consistently delivering ridiculous statements to the unsuspecting public. Mahathir Mohamad is unanimously regarded as the man responsible for laying the groundwork for UMNO’s disastrous PR maneuvers, annoying journalists with his ‘apa nama?’ response and consistently forgetting important details while clearly remembering imaginary events, such as Anwar Ibrahim’s extracurricular homosexual activities.

UMNO may have been complacent over the years and diverted from its mission to champion the rights of the downtrodden, but its leaders have never forgotten to bless the people of Malaysia with statements and gestures that are nothing short of bizarre. Some of us may not be able to recall UMNO’s original founders but all of us would always remember that fateful day when common sense lost its way and Hishammuddin Hussein Onn mistook a keris for a mineral water bottle.

UMNO has once again proven to the doubters out there that it is the only party that can be trusted in issuing silly statements that make even the terminally foolish Bush seem intelligent by comparison. UMNO vice-president Mohd Ali Rustam recently joined the chorus of senior Penang UMNO leaders in calling for a moratorium on all BN mega projects in the state. “We have to stop all major projects in Penang as this is what the people wanted” declared Ali Rustam with the supreme confidence only an UMNO veep can muster. Actually, they wanted greater transparency and an end to corruption, but perhaps Ali Rustam missed that sentiment.

“If we stop all major projects, the people would realise what they had lost and would then come back to the BN”, said the Malacca Chief Minister, echoing a theory popular among the allegedly educated folks at UMNO. This playing-hard-to-get thing might work if UMNO was an attractive lady and the guy is chasing, but when your party is plagued by mismanagement and the people have lost faith, blackmailing them is the last thing you should be doing. Who is UMNO’s PR chief and what is he smoking? If only each and every Malaysian emulated the uncompromising consistency displayed by the good folks at UMNO, then our buses will always run on time, our nasi lemak will always taste good and Malaysia will be a better country to live in. Stay tuned for the next set of ridiculous UMNO statements, coming to a mainstream media outlet near you.

Penang UMNO Learns A Lesson

It hasn’t been a week since the crushing defeat of Barisan National in the Western corridor and already Penang UMNO, unfamiliar with defeat and hungry for power, has displayed the kind of rebellion one would more readily expect from a pampered baby denied his mother’s breast milk. In a politically suicidal move that at worst is shameless and at best, infantile, the state UMNO has recommended the Federal Government to stop all proposed mega projects in Penang as payback to the naughty electorate for kicking the BN state government out of power. “Don’t blame us for this”, said Azhar Ibrahim, the newly appointed opposition chief when asked to clarify on the attention-seeking move.

Such a response would be tolerated if he was a kindergarten boy trying to escape punishment for drawing circles on his best friend’s face with a permanent marker. But to use it as an excuse to justify denying an entire state its due development? Isn’t that a bit melodramatic? Perhaps Azhar Ibrahim misses those bygone black-and-white days when schoolyard bullies rule supreme, but at a time when the people are smarter than politicians, and more than happy to kick the bad guys out, such childish rants are unnecessary. He has further demanded Penang chief minister Lim Guan Eng to stop issuing statements that “could hurt the feelings of the Malays”. Does he think we are a community of crybabies that starts throwing tantrums every time someone makes comments about us?

“Any move to introduce the open tender system in Penang would only lead to the marginalization of the Malays”, boomed the schoolyard-bully-turned-playground-outcast. Someone forgot to tell him the Malays have long been marginalized, even under the rule of the so-called protectors of Malay sovereignty. UMNO clings to power on the back of Malay impoverishment and dependency, feeding us with the propaganda drug that no other party can protect our interests other than the benevolent and kind leaders of UMNO. We had to kick the habit someday, and that’s why we voted you out. Don’t blame us for this.

Opposition Supporters Rally Behind Pak Lah

Amid growing calls for Abdullah Badawi to resign as Prime Minister following the shock losses suffered by Barisan Nasional in the just-concluded general elections, a grouping of opposition supporters today rallied at an undisclosed location in support of Pak Lah. The supporters were seen carrying banners with the slogan “Stay another 5 years” and “Keep doing what you’re doing, it’s clearly working” as the factors resulting in Saturday’s big win for the Opposition became clear. “Our victory in the recent General Election is 99.99% due to Abdullah”, said one jubilant PKR supporter, borrowing from the infamous and mathematically inaccurate analysis of Umno secretary-general Khalil Yaakob during the landslide 2004 elections.

There have been persistent rumours that Abdullah Badawi might be suffering from deafness when he was quoted as saying “I don’t know who is pressuring me to quit”, despite a call to resign from the very noisy ex-Premier Mahathir Mohamad. “People are saying the PM is out of touch, but I think it’s a simple case of deafness,” claimed Dr Noor Hayati Abu Samah, a senior ENT (ear-nose-throat) specialist at the Subang Jaya Medical Centre. Some opposition supporters, however, are indifferent to the PM’s future. “Even if he resigns, he will most likely be succeeded by Najib Razak, and we know many Malaysians are uncomfortable with him and his equally unlikable partner,” said concerned citizen turned armchair political analyst Chee Soon Chuan. “I may not be a professional political analyst like Abdul Razak Baginda, but even I can tell that UMNO is in a bit of a mess”.

-Ihsan TakdaNama, berita tidak rasmi Malaysia.

Is Hishamuddin Hussein Onn Always This Angry?

Questions over Hishamuddin Hussein Onn’s mental stability resurfaced again when the education minister became “irate” over parents’ confusion on school fees. He was reported by the New Straits Times as being “not too pleased” with parents who were seeking refund after learning that certain school fees were only ‘recommended’ but not ‘compulsory’.

The minister, who was widely ridiculed over his amateurish keris-wielding stunts at the UMNO General Assembly, shot back at parents, telling them to “go ahead, take your money back”. The issue here has got less to do with Malaysian parents being stingy than a lack of proper information on the part of the Education Ministry. It is a natural reaction for parents –especially during these times of rising costs – to be less-than-willing to pay a fee they are not obliged to. It is precisely because of this, that it becomes even more urgent for the Ministry to explain thoroughly the benefits that will be channeled to the school community through these non-compulsory payments. Malaysian parents are well-known for emphasizing their child’s education, so their complaints against extra charges has less to do with the financial aspect than confusion over the abolishment of school fees that was announced by the government last September.

It is unfortunate that M. Kayveas, the Deputy Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, seems to take more interest in this matter when he called for school charges to be standardized to avoid confusion. It is even more unfortunate that the Education Minister refuses to listen to such suggestions, instead telling Kayveas to “wait until he’s education minister to solve all the problems”. If only we all had that luxury, Hishamuddin. The problems are staring at you straight in the eye, and the best you can come up with are cheap shots at confused parents and a concerned deputy minister. Grow up.

Nazri Aziz Digesa Kawal Emosi

Menteri di Jabatan Perdana Menteri, Nazri Aziz digesa untuk mengawal perasaan emosinya bagi mengelak kejadian insiden amuk seperti yang ditonjolkan tanpa rasa malu di Dewan Rakyat, Disember 2005, apabila beliau memekik-mekik perkataan ‘bloody racist’ berulang-ulang kali. Baru-baru ini, Nazri Aziz telah memberi amaran kepada Ketua Menteri Tamil Nadu yang membangkitkan insiden protes Hindraf, berhubung layanan dan hak rakyat Malaysia golongan Tamil.

Beliau memberi “peringatan”, yang sebenarnya lebih mirip kepada satu ancaman, supaya Ketua Menteri itu tidak campur tangan dalam urusan Malaysia, yang pada fikirannya “tiada kena mengena dengan Tamil Nadu”. Sudah menjadi satu hakikat dalam era globalisasi ini, bagi negara-negara saling “campur tangan” dalam hal ehwal negara lain, terutamanya apabila hak-hak rakyat mungkin dipertikai. Ini adalah bagi memastikan setiap kerajaan mentadbir secara saksama. Patutkah kerajaan Malaysia berdiam diri sekiranya Israel melanggar hak rakyat Palestin? Adakah wajar dunia berdiam diri ke atas perlakuan Amerika Syarikat terhadap Iraq dan negara miskin lain, hanya kerana tidak mahu dituduh “campur tangan”?

Kesanggupan negara-negara Asia Tengara (ASEAN) untuk tidak “campur tangan” ke atas urusan rejim Burma telah menyebabkan ramai sami-sami Buddha ditahan dan dibunuh. Nazri Aziz sepatutnya sedar bahawa Ketua Menteri Tamil Nadu itu hanya bertindak sebagai seorang manusia prihatin. Nazri Aziz sebagai Menteri di Jabatan Perdana Menteri sepatutnya menyiasat sekiranya dakwaan 20 000 rakyat kita ini – yang sebenarnya mewakili jumlah golongan Tamil yang lebih besar – adalah sahih. Sekiranya beribu-ribu rakyat Malaysia golongan Melayu sendiri masih tersisih, walaupun secara rasminya diberi lebih perhatian, apatah lagi golongan Tamil?

Nazri Aziz digesa agar jangan lagi memalukan rakyat Malaysia amnya, dan golongan Melayu khasnya, dengan karenah bongkaknya itu. Mukanya yang seperti lanun dan kepala botaknya yang seakan-akan ahli samseng memang mengerikan, tetapi apa yang lebih menakutkan bagi ramai rakyat Malaysia, terutamanya mereka yang berpendidikan tinggi dan agak berada, ialah tahap emosi dan inteleknya yang kadangkala kelihatan kurang stabil.