Where to now, kampunghouse?

It has been a while since anything was penned (or rather, typed) onto the pages of kampunghouse. Only the very illustrious of blogs are able to maintain a steady flow of content for the benefit of its readers and unfortunately, this blog isn’t one of them. We would much rather leave it unattended than to simply fill the site with hastily written articles just for the sake of updating constantly.

This blog started off as a space to present a young, careless perspective of contemporary Malaysian life, in the hope of attracting those amongst us who have grown tired of the angry, bitter and expletive-riddled tone of some of the other blogs. We cannot overstate our repulsion towards the thoughtless use of cuss words in articles, especially by those who somehow think the mere utterance of the F-word automatically elevates one to the hip and trendy set. Of course, although we frown on the language of the unlettered folk, we would never censor our readers who choose to employ such nasty words.

Although we’ve thoroughly enjoyed commenting and poking fun on fellow Malaysians, the longer we are away from our homeland, the harder it is to analyse and comment on the daily itinerary of our countryfolk. We risk being ‘armchair Malaysians’ if we solely rely on the news and views of The Star, Petaling Street and Malaysiakini, instead of being out there on the street striking lively conversations over a refreshingly cold glass of teh ais limau. Alas, some of us at kampunghouse can never quite keep quiet, and so instead of disbanding altogether we will let one of us experiment with a blog that would reflect a much more personal perspective (in plain terms, a blog about me, me, me!).

Honestly, I don’t know what is in store for kampunghouse in 2009, in much the same way clever economists have no clue over the state of the global economy. But I shan’t worry and instead, just keep writing. I hope you’ve found kampunghouse to be, at the very least, mildly thought-provoking in its past, and will find its reincarnation, at the minimum, as interesting as some of the good blogs out there.

kampunghouse is not a porn site!

Despite being a relatively new entrant into the blogging scene and having a rather small readership, we at kampunghouse are quite proud of our achievements so far. We cherish our independence, and hold dear to our commitment to poke fun at everyday Malaysian sensibilities at the expense of everyone, including ourselves. However, if there is one thing we are ashamed of, it is that an overwhelming majority of our visitors come here as a result of looking up ‘pramugari terlampau’ over search engines. Many others stumble in after typing ‘seks dalam tandas’, ‘adegan lucah’, ’seks dengan ayam’, ‘gambar artis tak senonoh’ and the sacrilegious ‘bersetubuh dengan ustazah’.

Don’t get us wrong, we are definitely not self-righteous guardians of moral behaviour. What you google in the comfort of your home is your own business. But we regret that many of our visitors will end up disappointed upon learning that we are not here to sexually stimulate their much-needed erection. No doubt, we are partly to blame for publishing such posts as ‘Pramugara Terlampau dan Pramugari Melampau’ and ‘Porn Gets Complicated’, knowing full well the power of Google and its word searches. Yes, we adopt a very open attitude towards discussing the subject of sex. In fact, one of us has been known to enjoy walking around the house in full nudity. But purveyors of porn, we definitely are not.

Our Disturbing Fascination With MENJ

Now that we have concluded with the pomp and ceremony of the “Jaguh Kampung Of The Month”, we would like to focus our attention to this disturbing fascination we harbour towards the mental aptitude and inner workings of MENJ. MENJ is a full-time blogger (read: unemployable) who claims to be “dedicated to the study of comparative religions”. He hopes the “comparative religions” credential will give him an air of scholarly authority. This infantile aspiration, however, is immediately crushed once we read his articles, which is essentially an emotional bash-and-rant against other religions and cultures. Fellow Muslims who do not share his views are conveniently labelled as “heretics”. Anyone who raises issues concerning Islam are immediately condemned as “Islamophobes”, in much the same way as anyone criticising Israel are denounced as ‘Anti-Semitic’ by Jewish zealots.

You need only be mildly intelligent to appreciate that MENJ is in fact, the mirror image of hardline Zionists, right-wing American evangelists and the ignoramus Dutch MP he so self-righteously criticised. Although we tend to laugh off his irrational and imbecilic posts as some twisted form of comedy, the sad fact is that MENJ represents a cross-section of Malaysian youths who desperately need help. Coming from a low socioeconomic background, possessing minimal education and wholly unattractive to the workforce, these youths are disenfranchised from mainstream society and are unable to respond and interact with the modern world. Their narrow-minded mentality, disguised as “Islamic” should come as no surprise, because their upbringing and environment have denied them the opportunity to reach their full potential.

Although his face might suggest otherwise, MENJ is not born an idiot. He grew up into one. Although we occasionally have a laugh at his expense, and unfairly chastise him as “hodoh lagi bodoh”, we sincerely feel sorry for his predicament.

Hej Sverige! kampunghouse turns kampunghus

Kampunghouse memang sudah lama terpesona dengan Sweden, sebuah negara Skandinavia yang mendahului dunia dalam aspek peningkatan taraf hidup, kesaksamaan wanita dan kanak-kanak serta pengurangan jurang ekonomi antara yang kaya dan yang papa. Sweden diiktiraf sebagai sebuah negara liberal yang mengutamakan kebebasan bersuara, menghormati hak kemanusiaan dan memperjuangkan peningkatan sosial warganegaranya. Walaupun begitu, negara ini tidak pula sibuk bersyarah kepada negara lain dan memaksa mereka mencontohi gaya politik, sosial atau ekonomi Sweden.

Seperti juga masyarakat lain yang kompleks dan berbagai dimensi, Sweden tidaklah sempurna dan mempunyai banyak percanggahan dan masalah dalaman. Ia sering dianggap sebagai sebuah ‘nanny state’ di mana kerajaan terlalu mempengaruhi dan campur tangan dalam hal persendirian rakyatnya. Orang Sweden sendiri selalu dituduh terlalu menghargai etika ‘kebiasaan’ (lebih tepat, average atau mediocrity). Etika ini berasas dari konsep Jantelagen (Law of Jante) yang terlalu memberatkan kesaksamaan, sehinggakan mereka yang mahu menjadi lebih bagus, hebat atau kaya dicela dan dimaki-hamun (tapi taklah sampai dipijak-pijak).

Bermula dari artikel ini, kami merancang untuk memaparkan rencana-rencana bertemakan Sweden bagi membandingkan persamaan dan perbezaan antara Malaysia dan negara itu. Adakah adil untuk membandingkan negara kita, sebuah negara membangun, dengan Sweden, yang merupakan antara negara terkaya dan termaju di dunia? Tidak ada gunanya kita membandingkan Malaysia dengan negara setaraf, seperti Thailand dan Turki, ataupun negara lebih miskin, seperti Angola dan Honduras, hanya supaya kita dapat mendabik dada di atas kemegahan dan kekayaan kita di kalangan negara-negara papa dan mundur itu.

Perbezaan antara kedua-dua negara ini paling ketara dari segi iklim, komposisi kaum, budaya politik dan sosial. Walaupun begitu, terdapat banyak persamaan yang dikongsi bersama. Walaupun iklimnya berbeza, tetapi kedua-dua negara mempunyai cuaca terlampau; Malaysia dengan panas dan lembapnya yang membakar dan melekitkan badan, Sweden pula dengan cuaca sejuknya yang memuramkan orangnya. Ada yang berpendapat budaya arak Sweden yang minum untuk mabuk adalah disebabkan iklim menggigil mereka sehinggakan rakyatnya tidak dapat bergembira tanpa pengaruh arak. Sweden tergolong dalam ‘Vodka Belt’ yang merupakan gagasan negara-negara kuat minum yang termasuk Rusia, Norway dan Poland.

Seperti Malaysia, Sweden juga bermula sebagai sebuah negara pertanian, dan jika Malaysia terkenal dengan pelakon amatur pornografinya, Sweden juga merupakan tuan rumah kepada industri filem lucah ternama, disebabkan rakyatnya yang berambut emas, paras rupa yang segak dan lawa, serta buah dada yang memang semulajadi besar dan gagah perkasa.

Emotionally Unstable Malaysian Bloggers Seek Counselling

Recently, there has been a growing number of Malaysian bloggers, such as MENJ who, visibly upset over negative remarks posted by visitors, have demanded silence from them, or to simply “GET LOST”. This ‘if you don’t like it get out’ idea, and its close relative the ‘if you write negative comments I won’t publish it’ mentality, is a concept that is totally alien to the ideals of free speech and democracy, and is perhaps a reflection of the level of iron-fist dictatorship which Malaysians have been subjected to over the past two decades.

When a blogger chooses to publicly post his or her article on the Internet, he has to understand that there will be readers who may not agree with his views, and they are entitled to voice their disapproval, before they “get lost”, just as he has the right to leave comments on websites that he visits. If he is able to accept praises and adulation from admirers, he should be just as able to accept negative feedback. You cannot have it both ways. When a person publishes articles in public, he is ‘fair game’ to comments, be they roses or brickbats. If he is unable to comply, then he should perhaps retrieve to the private life.

Some other bloggers pretend to be fair and declare they have no problem with “constructive criticism”. “Constructive criticism” is a deceptive phrase usually employed by people who are otherwise unable to accept negative comments, in an effort to appear rational. In actual fact, these “constructive criticisms” are opinions they themselves more or less agree with. It is not that difficult to accept “constructive criticisms” if you agree with them in the first place. When a visitor posts critical feedback on their websites, the reply by these mob of emotionally unstable bloggers is usually riddled with expletives and generous use of multiple exclamation marks, a practice we suspect they adopt from 12 year old spoilt brats suffering from ADD.

MENJ is not the only one suffering from anger management issues. There are numerous websites out there, dedicated to bashing the government, bashing God, bashing atheists, bashing cross-dressing transsexuals, bashing the fly-infested mee goreng at Seksyen 19, that display overtly emotional language.

Why then, do we unfairly target MENJ, when there are many other Malaysian bloggers out there, who either due to a lack of vocabulary, a traumatic childhood or unresolved issues,resort to employing course language and a ridiculous number of exclamation marks? Why do we concentrate on him, when there are many other bloggers who are more educated, more intelligent and are far better equipped at defending themselves without looking like an infantile fool? The main reason is because, as stated by MENJ, he simply does not care. From the tone of his language, it is clear that criticisms have upset him, and we suspect there have been numerous. Although we at kampunghouse pride ourselves at being irresponsible and irreverent, we sincerely believe further distressing MENJ  on his website will aggravate his already serious emotional instability (even though that hasn’t stopped us in the past), and after having to endure more than 20 years of authoritarian rule by an emotionally disturbed Prime Minister, we understand the severe implications and acknowledge that this is no laughing matter.

To MENJ, and all the other angry and emotionally unstable bloggers, we wish them a speedy recovery