Men in skullcaps drag cow-head in protest against Hindu temple

On Thursday morning I woke up to an sms from mom to say that our beloved cat Comot has died. I was devastated to learn the news, particularly since it was only three weeks ago that I last saw her, during my recent trip back to the family home. I will miss the way she would scratch my face as I incessantly kiss her, the way she bites my hand with her small set of teeth as I vigorously pat her head, unable to contain myself over how adorable she is. She grew tired of me after five minutes on my lap but I never tire of her.

As sad as it makes me feel, I take her death as an inevitable part of life, for despair is the matching partner of happiness. If we had never taken her into our home we would be spared this pain, but we would also be bereft of the joy her presence brought us. Other than the sad news, the first week of Ramadan has been a spiritually enriching journey for me, as I join Muslims the world over in our individual and communal effort to increase our good deeds and try to be a better person in the remembrance of God.

Therefore, it was with extreme outrage and disappointment that I read in the Malaysian news that earlier today, on the holiest day of the week in the holiest month of the Muslim calendar, a group of zealous Malay Muslims chose to protest against the relocation of a Hindu temple to their neighbourhood by parading a severed cow’s head during their demonstration after Friday prayers. Already there are suspicions that the demonstration is a perverted ploy by interested parties to stir racial unrest among the Indian Hindu and Malay Muslim communities in Malaysia, and that the protesters weren’t in fact residents of the neighbourhood known as Section 23. Regardless of whether it was a conspiracy or not, the protestors remain as Muslims and for that they should hang their heads in shame for publicly desecrating the Muslim faith in the holiest of months.

I am reluctant to comment about matters pertaining to Islam because I am neither a religious expert nor do I consider myself a pious Muslim. But to remain silent would be a betrayal of my conscience, for these vile actions affect me deeply as both a Malaysian and a Muslim, however flawed I may be.

The spokesperson for the protesters claim it is inappropriate to relocate the Hindu temple in a neighbourhood where 80% of the residents are Muslim. This argument is both disturbing in its simple foolishness and flawed outright. What is so inappropriate about building a house of worship for the remaining 20% of the residents who are not Muslim? If we go with the simple man’s logic, would it then be “inappropriate” to build a mosque in a predominantly non-Muslim neighbourhood? I would hope not. No one should be denied their right to perform their religious obligations, particularly when it does not intrude upon others. I recall this flawed argument being used by residents in the Sydney suburb of Camden against the building of an Islamic school sometime last year, with the rabid protesters deeply disturbed at the prospect of the Islamic school blemishing the Anglo-Saxon character of their locality.

It pains me to note the utter disrespect these Malay Muslim protesters showed to the Hindu community by dragging the severed cow’s head along the streets, wearing skullcaps and chanting “Allahu Akbar!” (God is great!) as if they were the last defenders of Islam. They were obviously aware of the symbolism, but have they forgotten that the cow is sacred in Islam too, as are all creatures created by God? They demand the meat they consume to be halal, that is, to be clean and pure, treated with dignity and respect from birth to the moment of slaughter, yet they parade the dismembered animal with the joy and enthusiasm of barbarians, thoughtless in the sanctity of animals from the Islamic perspective.

They may wear their skullcaps and parade their piety in full display, but I take heart that Islam does not condone such callous acts of disrespect towards those who do not profess our religion from these verses:

Say, O you disbelievers
I do not worship that which you worship
Nor do you worship what I worship
Nor will I ever worship that which you worship
Nor will you ever worship what I worship
For you your religion, and for me my religion

Surah Al-Kafiroon (The Disbelievers), verses 1-6
109: 1-6

Follow what is revealed to you from your Lord, there is no god but He; and turn aside from those who join gods with Allah;
And if Allah had pleased, they would not have set up others (with Him) and We have not appointed you a keeper over them, and you are not placed in charge of them;
And do not abuse those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest exceeding the limits they should abuse Allah out of ignorance. Thus We have made fair seeming to every people their deeds, then to their Lord shall be their return, so He will inform them of what they did

Surah Al-An’Aam (The Cattle, Livestock) verses 106-108
6: 106-108

Flip-Flopping in Malaysia: Should We Revert to Teaching Science and Mathematics in Malay?

In July this year, the Malaysian Education Minister Muhyiddin Yassin announced a decision to reverse the 6-year experiment of teaching Science and Mathematics to school students in English, citing research findings which showed low levels of proficiency among both teachers and students, particularly those from rural or disadvantaged socioeconomic backgrounds. Teachers’ inability to communicate effectively scientific and mathematical concepts in English compounded the students’ difficulty in understanding said concepts, leading to low levels of participation and enthusiasm in Science and Math.

The policy of Teaching and Learning Science and Mathematics in English, known by its Malay initials as PPSMI, was initiated by then premier Mahathir Mohamad to arrest the declining proficiency of Malaysian students, partly caused by the earlier policy of designating Malay as the medium of instruction in national schools in newly independent Malaysia. Prior to Independence fought from the British, the primary language of instruction was English, thereby creating a preceding generation more fluent in the language than the current crop of Malaysians.

The most strident opponents of the policy of teaching Math and Science in English are the giants of the Malay literary scene, most notably National Laureate A. Samad Said and Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka, the Malay equivalent to France’s L’Académie française. Their grievance is understandable, for it is true that teaching and learning Science and Math in English would decimate any prospect of Malay as a significant scientific language. But common sense must prevail, and it is imperative for us to acknowledge that the Malay language never had a chance as a medium of the sciences. Even at its peak during the Malacca sultanate when Malay was the lingua franca of the Malay archipelago, its function was to facilitate trading between peoples, not to exchange scientific knowhow. That is not something to be ashamed of; we were and remain to this day a trading nation and our Malay language is a living testament to that proud heritage. But we cannot keep deluding ourselves into thinking that Malay can and will be a medium of the sciences when we are merely translating and borrowing hundreds of terms from English and creating none of our own.

Meanwhile, a small but vocal section of the Malay community, in a defiant display of misplaced arrogance and uncensored infantilism, continue to chastise those in favour of the English language policy by labelling them ‘celup’ (dipped, as in brown Malay skin ‘dipped’ in white Anglo-Saxon cast) and traitors of their people. It sounds preposterous because it is; a Western European doesn’t transform into an Indian simply by eating curry; likewise Malaysians don’t become less Malaysian just by conversing in English. This sort of narrow-minded logic is usually thrown aside as stupidity, but this stupidity is unfortunately extremely prevalent in Malaysian society and continues to shape public policy designed by politicians more interested in keeping the votes.

A more valid reason to oppose the PPSMI are rural parents’ and students’ real concern that their low proficiency in English will seriously impede their academic achievements in Science and Math, and in a worst case scenario, possibly hinder otherwise interested rural students from taking up tertiary studies in scientific and technical fields such as engineering and medicine. They further argue that the government is taking a hasty and haphazard approach in arresting the decline of English proficiency; rather than teach Math and Science in English, the best way to improve the standard of English is by increasing the time spent teaching English as a subject on its own. It is easy, this group asserts, for urban, middle-class Malaysians such as me to support the use of English in Math and Science since we would not be faced with the difficulties of having to learn not just a subject (Math or Science) but also a language at the same time.

I agree with their assertion to a degree and I sympathise with their predicament. But as a Malaysian and a Malay, I support the use of English in Math and Science not because it would be easy for people like me, but because not doing so would make it harder in the long run for everyone, in particular those from low socioeconomic backgrounds. Most of the world’s scientific references today are expressed in English, and the dominance of the Internet over printed publications means that it would be virtually impossible for Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka to translate even a fraction of the scientific knowledge that is out there. By refusing to learn in English, we are effectively limiting our ability to absorb and transmit scientific knowhow. By delaying the teaching and learning of English from school to tertiary level (because eventually Science and Math will be taught in English at universities), we are only making it harder for ourselves.

Postponing the challenge of acquiring a language only makes it more difficult later on. In any case, the previous generations of Malaysians had even lower levels of exposure to English to start with, yet they survived, even thrived, in the English-dominated education system brought on by the British. We Malaysians, particularly Malays, seem to make ourselves appear stupid by propagating this idea that we are perpetually unable to learn in English, but let’s face it, we’re not that stupid. We will become more fluent eventually. The government can make the transition easier by assigning additional tutorial assistance to rural students who have difficulty with English, and intensify the immersion of the language through various media – the Internet, video, television and print.

We are a small nation in an increasingly intertwined world. In order to succeed we need to be able to understand and communicate effectively with the world around us. Science and Mathematics are the fields which will ensure the continued prosperity of Malaysians, and if we continue to shelter ourselves from the tide of English for the sake of convenience, we risk drowning in the sea of globalization, with the world oblivious to our torment.

“Jangan Campur Tangan Urusan Dalaman Kami!”

“Jangan campur tangan urusan dalaman kami!” Kata-kata ini tidak hanya berkumandang di negara kita sahaja. Bahkan, slogan ini kerap kali digunakan oleh kerajaan-kerajaan korup dan tertutup seperti Zimbabwe, China dan Burma apabila kelakuan mereka dipersoal pihak luar. Sejahat-jahat Amerika Syarikat, tak pernah pun Condoleeza Rice dan sekutu-sekutunya mengamuk apabila dicemuh orang asing. Boleh dikatakan sesiapa sahaja boleh menghentam nama baik Amerika Syarikat, baik penunjuk perasaan anti-perang di Peranchis mahupun makcik miskin yang rumahnya baru diroboh tentera Israel di Palestin.

Seteruk manapun kita mencarut nama Bush, apa yang pasti kita tak perlu risau akan ditangkap atau dituduh mencabul kehormatan lubang punggung lelaki lain. Alasan ‘jangan campur tangan’ ini sememangnya tak boleh dipakai, kerana sudah menjadi hak mana-mana individu atau kerajaan untuk mempersoal dan membidas perilaku pihak lain yang dianggap salah. Patutkah kita berdiam diri melihat rakyat Bosnia disembelih tentera Radovan Karadzic? Bolehkan kita pura-pura ‘takda apa’ sedangkan kaum kulit hitam di Darfur dibunuh oleh pengganas Janjawid atas nama Islam? Patutkah kita menghormati urusan dalaman Burma apabila “urusan dalaman” itu melibatkan penganiayaan sami-sami Buddha yang tidak bersalah?

Anjing pun akan menyalak apabila menyaksikan sesuatu yang tidak kena. Bolehkah kita sebagai manusia berakal dan berhati berdiam diri sahaja? Dalam kes penuduhan Anwar Ibrahim yang secara terang melibatkan konspirasi dan penganiayaan sistematik, beberapa kerajaan dan pertubuhan asing telah menyatakan rasa tidak senang dengan apa yang sedang berlaku di negara ini.

“Jangan campur tangan dalam urusan dalaman kami!” desak segelintir pemimpin nasionalis kita. Memang sedih sekali apabila pihak asing lebih prihatin dan mengambil berat terhadap hal ehwal warganegara Malaysia daripada kerajaan sendiri.

How to Make Your Very Own Statutory Declaration

Statutory declarations seem to be the rage these days, the latest coming from P.Balasubramaniam, the former private investigator of disgraced political analyst Abdul Razak Baginda. We at kampunghouse are ever eager to adopt a trend, so as a service to our fellow Malaysians, we’d like to give a rough guide to making your own statutory declaration. After all, why should only prominent bloggers and private investigators get to risk their lives and come up with a statutory declaration? This is a free country (or at least pretending to be) and every Malaysian should have the right to draw up their own legally-binding statements if they wish to.

Everybody knows sex sells. So for a really explosive document, we recommend a judicious amount of sexual detail. Spice things up with some guns, blackmail and a sprinkling of violence and you have the statutory equivalent of a daytime soap opera. And this being Malaysia, things will not be complete without the involvement of the token politician. But where can we possibly find a scandalous local politician with a penchant for extra-curricular sex? Mmm we wonder….

Contrary to popular opinion or what your conscience tells you, statutory declarations are not an accessory of justice; they are not used to uphold the law. As explained by our honorable Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak, statutory declarations can sometimes be “a mere fabrication with malicious intention and slanderous element”. Well if the Deputy PM says so then it must be true.

While we at kampunghouse admit to lacking any moral authority whatsoever, we beseech you, that should you ever come up with a sexually explicit statutory declaration, to stay clear from any mention of activities involving the anus. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but the two statements that have recently been publicized have mentioned sodomy and a susceptibility to anal sex. We have been the butt of jokes ever since a foreigner mistook the Petronas Twin Towers as the world’s tallest penises, do we now want people to call us the anal hole of Asia?

The Rosmah Saga: Soap Opera, Crime Drama or Thriller Gone Horribly Wrong?

In America, the mass media is saturated with juicy and often lurid details of their celebrities behaving badly. The public is constantly fed with daily news of drug overdose, public drunkenness and all-round debauchery that characterize the wild and crazy lives of the Hollywood glitterati. In our sensible, conservative country, the artistes and celebrities that entertain us are generally decent and well behaved. Some, like Siti Nurhaliza, inevitably serve as role models with their modest behavior and strong work ethic. And so it was left to the politicians to fill the vacuum and take up the role as gossip fodder and scandal-makers to feed the gratuitous imagination of our country-folk. This they have accomplished with utmost diligence and supreme efficiency, sometimes even surpassing their official job as managers of this nation.

It was only a few years ago that Malaysians were shown a specimen of a semen-stained mattress purportedly belonging to a high-profile politician. For many of us who were growing up, that period served as a lesson on sexual education as we discovered for the very first time, that it was humanly possible to take it up the arse. We wondered again if the government was taking a more pro-active role in the sexual education of citizens when the recently-demoted Health Minister Chua Soi Lek himself took on a leading role in a sex video. Amidst the loud protests by professional porn stars who found themselves out of work, Malaysians can only sigh in despair upon realizing that our politicians not only get better pay, they also get more sex than the rest of us.

One prominent politician who has never really escaped the national gossip is the energetic Najib Razak. He has been linked to several women in the past, most notably the actress Ziana Zain and more recently, the murdered Mongolian Altantuya Shariibuu. We sincerely sympathize with the predicament that befalls Najib Razak for he has the misfortune of being tagged a philanderer without having the charm and charisma of a playboy.

The recent debacle over Najib Razak and his wife Rosmah Mansor’s alleged involvement in the murder of Altantuya is an embarrassment not only to them, but the integrity of the Malaysian government and its people. What is even more embarrassing is that Raja Petra Kamarudin’s statutory declaration, at least for many Malaysians, is actually not at all shocking. Rumor of the power couple’s involvement has been making the rounds ever since Abdul Razak Baginda was charged with abetment of the murder. The strong denials voiced by Rosmah and Najib, unfortunately, are not enough to allay suspicion by a wary and untrusting public, and hence we call for a full and thorough investigation on this explosive matter.

There’s Nothing Quite as Ex as an Ex-PM

Reading the Malaysian papers these days – itself an act that can at best be described as anti-intelligent – we sometimes wonder if a time machine’s been invented and we’re back in the 90s. As ex-Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad makes a comeback in the headlines, we can only sigh over the double-despair of being administered by the lackluster Abdullah Badawi while having to endure the tireless ranting of the ex-Premier. There is now a small and growing cult of supporters dedicated to the preservation of the memories of Mahathir’s Malaysia, then a country renewed by ambition and confidence, armed with the zeal to stick it to the colonial masters and climb the stage of global recognition. This was the era when attention-seeking was a patriotic duty, and so we built the world’s third-longest bridge, the tallest towers, the third-tallest telecommunications structure, the biggest ketupat, the most number of lemang consumed in one day…the list goes on.

But we also remember that much of this development was built on the back of unhindered corruption, rampant cronyism and a sycophantic political culture which treats dissent, even constructive criticism, as if it were a plague that needs to be rid of at all costs. That culture of subservience that Mahathir Mohamad so craftily cultivated may have meant a relatively easy time for him as Prime Minister, but it has left us with a generation of slavish, unthinking leaders unaccustomed to debate and criticism from the people whose vote brought them to office in the first place. These politicians, whose greatest contribution is saying “yes” on cue, are as useful to the democratic process as a rubber stamp. While we acknowledge the ex-Premier’s deeds to this country and admire his intellectual rigor, his present ranting do not actually benefit anybody, and only serves to further diminish his reputation as one of Asia’s great statesmen.

Are We Really A Nation Of Unthinkers?

Terengganu Menteri Besar Idris Jusoh has declared his willingness to accept any decision of the Umno leadership that is deemed best for the rakyat, including forgoing the Menteri Besar’s post. He was also prepared to apologise to the Sultan of Terengganu if he “had done anything wrong”. Not that we are especially fond of Idris Jusoh, but we are extremely disappointed that he has chosen to play the role of the stereotypical subservient Malay subject and not uphold his position, simply on the basis that it is “in the interests of the rakyat”. The Sultan’s displeasure is his own. It does not necessarily reflect the general feeling of the people of Terengganu. If the electorate was unsatisfied with the Umno government, they would have easily voted the administration out of office, a concept not at all unfamiliar in this state once ruled by Pas.

Why is Idris Jusoh apologizing for an offense he’s not even sure of? We seem to be living in a world where people are increasingly saying sorry not because they are actually sorry, but just in case they have offended some people. We should not be sorry “if”, we should be sorry “because”. In a foolishly opportunistic move that betrays its rebellious roots, PKR, led by party national youth deputy head Faris Musa, lodged a police report against PM Abdullah Badawi, DPM Najib Razak and the 23 Terengganu assemblymen for showing disrespect to the Terengganu Palace. “The palace institution must be respected and all subjects must show loyalty,” declared Faris. “The actions of those involved were blatant disregard of loyalty to the Rulers”.

Have we really become a nation of such slavish unthinkers that loyalty to the monarchy now precedes intelligent debate and common sense? Why is it that we are expected to prostrate with unquestioning subservience to mortals when even God Himself demands our scrutiny? We are blessed by a system where the monarchy no longer presides over executive rule, where we are “subjects” only by name and empowered to determine the direction of this country as we see fit, not according to the whims and fancies of the palace. We Malaysians, rightly or wrongly, ask for no accountability from the royal families in return for their role as merely ceremonial figureheads. It is in view of this, that such blatant display of unthinking subservience by both Idris Jusoh and PKR deserve even more condemnation.

Royal Rumble Packs a Punch in Terengganu

The still talked-about general election has created political fault lines not just between the Opposition-led West Coast and the BN-led East, but also between the separation of executive power between the government and the monarchy. Undoubtedly due to the unprecedented outcome of the elections, we have seen the Sultans of Selangor and Perak and the Raja of Perlis being dragged into politics and now the Sultan of Terengganu looks set to continue this worrying trend.

The appointment of a Menteri Besar should remain the prerogative of the government elected by the people. The Umno administration has been returned to power by the people of Terengganu and it should be allowed to elect its state leader, just as the Opposition coalition should be given the freedom to appoint its Menteris Besar, having been given the mandate to do so. The people of Terengganu have been impoverished for decades under both Pas and Umno, without any protest from the monarchy. Therefore we find the claim that the Sultan’s decision to appoint Ahmad Said was in the interest of the people a bit hard to stomach.

We at kampunghouse are not anti-monarchy, but we have been disappointed by the royal families and their lackluster reputation in championing the rights and privileges of the people. The monarchy prefers to assert its influence by dishing out hundreds of Datuk- and Tan Sri-ships like worthless bags of keropok, while the rest of us are subjected to the obnoxious demands of many an undeserving Datuk and his Datin. It would be better for the monarchy, and for the rest of us, if it continues in its role as national symbols, or as exemplified by the royal families of Negri Sembilan and Pahang, to simply grace the social pages of Malaysia Tatler and Le Prestige.

UMNO: The Only Party That Is Consistent

There are many nasty things you could say about UMNO, and many have done so, but if there is one thing everybody would agree on, it is that this party has been very consistent. The United Malays National Organization is perhaps second only to George W. Bush in consistently delivering ridiculous statements to the unsuspecting public. Mahathir Mohamad is unanimously regarded as the man responsible for laying the groundwork for UMNO’s disastrous PR maneuvers, annoying journalists with his ‘apa nama?’ response and consistently forgetting important details while clearly remembering imaginary events, such as Anwar Ibrahim’s extracurricular homosexual activities.

UMNO may have been complacent over the years and diverted from its mission to champion the rights of the downtrodden, but its leaders have never forgotten to bless the people of Malaysia with statements and gestures that are nothing short of bizarre. Some of us may not be able to recall UMNO’s original founders but all of us would always remember that fateful day when common sense lost its way and Hishammuddin Hussein Onn mistook a keris for a mineral water bottle.

UMNO has once again proven to the doubters out there that it is the only party that can be trusted in issuing silly statements that make even the terminally foolish Bush seem intelligent by comparison. UMNO vice-president Mohd Ali Rustam recently joined the chorus of senior Penang UMNO leaders in calling for a moratorium on all BN mega projects in the state. “We have to stop all major projects in Penang as this is what the people wanted” declared Ali Rustam with the supreme confidence only an UMNO veep can muster. Actually, they wanted greater transparency and an end to corruption, but perhaps Ali Rustam missed that sentiment.

“If we stop all major projects, the people would realise what they had lost and would then come back to the BN”, said the Malacca Chief Minister, echoing a theory popular among the allegedly educated folks at UMNO. This playing-hard-to-get thing might work if UMNO was an attractive lady and the guy is chasing, but when your party is plagued by mismanagement and the people have lost faith, blackmailing them is the last thing you should be doing. Who is UMNO’s PR chief and what is he smoking? If only each and every Malaysian emulated the uncompromising consistency displayed by the good folks at UMNO, then our buses will always run on time, our nasi lemak will always taste good and Malaysia will be a better country to live in. Stay tuned for the next set of ridiculous UMNO statements, coming to a mainstream media outlet near you.

Penang UMNO Learns A Lesson

It hasn’t been a week since the crushing defeat of Barisan National in the Western corridor and already Penang UMNO, unfamiliar with defeat and hungry for power, has displayed the kind of rebellion one would more readily expect from a pampered baby denied his mother’s breast milk. In a politically suicidal move that at worst is shameless and at best, infantile, the state UMNO has recommended the Federal Government to stop all proposed mega projects in Penang as payback to the naughty electorate for kicking the BN state government out of power. “Don’t blame us for this”, said Azhar Ibrahim, the newly appointed opposition chief when asked to clarify on the attention-seeking move.

Such a response would be tolerated if he was a kindergarten boy trying to escape punishment for drawing circles on his best friend’s face with a permanent marker. But to use it as an excuse to justify denying an entire state its due development? Isn’t that a bit melodramatic? Perhaps Azhar Ibrahim misses those bygone black-and-white days when schoolyard bullies rule supreme, but at a time when the people are smarter than politicians, and more than happy to kick the bad guys out, such childish rants are unnecessary. He has further demanded Penang chief minister Lim Guan Eng to stop issuing statements that “could hurt the feelings of the Malays”. Does he think we are a community of crybabies that starts throwing tantrums every time someone makes comments about us?

“Any move to introduce the open tender system in Penang would only lead to the marginalization of the Malays”, boomed the schoolyard-bully-turned-playground-outcast. Someone forgot to tell him the Malays have long been marginalized, even under the rule of the so-called protectors of Malay sovereignty. UMNO clings to power on the back of Malay impoverishment and dependency, feeding us with the propaganda drug that no other party can protect our interests other than the benevolent and kind leaders of UMNO. We had to kick the habit someday, and that’s why we voted you out. Don’t blame us for this.